highlight: Seeing WHITEY!!!

for more Tahoe photos and other photos, click here………….or maybe here!

or even here.

I had a student today who told me her husband left her. She said it in such a matter-of-fact way, as if she wasn’t sure if she believed it herself yet. They were both church leaders, cheating was involved. They have a 10 month old baby, a 4 and 7 year old. WTF?

I’m doing this program through work called Snowboard Outreach Society. It takes disadvantaged kids- whether financially disadvantaged or kids who are having trouble in school or even just new in the area- and takes them snowboarding for 5 Saturdays with a paid instructor (me) and a volunteer. I have 6 kids, ages 8-10, who are rippers. They already know how to ride so I’ve been teaching them freestyle stuff and basically just taking them around the mountain- through the trees, patches of powder and other fun stuff.

It’s been a lot of fun. Working with kids is something I’m good at but I also really enjoy. And this is a way to keep my hand in the pot without having to fully commit as I was before. Less involved I guess. Involved is something I’m not exactly ready for right now.

At the end of the session, all the kids were pretty tired. I offered to carry the youngest kid’s snowboard. He’s 8 and his sister who is also in our group is about 10. They came here from Mexico when they were about 3 and 5. This sweet little boy, instead of just walking in to the meeting room, goes back to his sister and takes her board from her. It was twice his size but he insisted upon carrying it despite his big sister’s protests.

Okay- so at this point, my maternal side was near exploding.

In the past 3 weeks, I haven’t had a lick of trouble from either of these two kids. They are two of the most goodhearted, genuinely polite and humble kids I have ever met. They assume nothing and are grateful for even the simplest kindness. “Without guile” is the phrase that comes to mind.

I have no idea what nurtures such a heart in a child. I’ve seen it so rarely. And to be honest, part of me is scared for him. There are so many people in the world looking to take advantage of such naivety. I just hope that he can hold on to the goodness God has put in his heart along with the truth about the world.

I think every person comes to the realization that this world is not safe at some point in their lives. Some people, most of the kids I’ve worked with, learn this lesson entirely too early and forever scarred because of it. This is our fault, we have not protected them and possibly robbed them of knowing hope and truth.

But at this realization, every person has a choice to either give in to it and become like the world or believe in something better and hold onto a piece of their innocence. Maturity and hope combined are a powerful, yet rare force.

As someone who has stuggled with chronic depression for most of my life, I feel as I am on the cusp of this decision nearly everyday. More times than not, peace and hope have lost the battle. But we’re slowly gaining ground and points and learning how to deal with the injustices of this world. I’ve never understand people who can just trust and believe, who are just naturally happy. Not to sound judgemental, but I feel like they are either blind or lying to themselves about what the world is really like. Maybe this depresses you just hearing it, I don’t mean it to. I can’t really speak for them, I can only speak for myself. I pray each day that God can use the ugliness of my life, the ugliness of this world and make it into something that is otherworldly beautiful. I pray that he will continue to carry my burdens as I seek to see a small glimpse of his heart and the burdens that he carries as well.

I think the entire state of Texas is visiting Colorado right now.

sam of the jungle

Shredding the silent ‘G’

Just got home from working at the restaurant. Things there are getting much better. For a while, they were looking kind of hairy with chefs yelling at me and me not knowing what the heezy I’m doing. But it seems to be turning around. I love it when things are moving quickly and everything is going perfectly smooth at a quick pace. Like a symphony or a well oiled machine, depending on how poetic you feel.

Had an interesting thought tonight:

You cannot really love someone if you don’t love yourself first.

If you don’t love yourself you will never believe that they love you as well. What do you think?